so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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