is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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