I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
