I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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