What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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