Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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