why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
