Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
