i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
