i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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