if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
