I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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