I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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