Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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