let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
two words...techno handjob
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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