It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
