and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
We were destined to go to rehab together
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
