Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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