I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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