Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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