Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
