On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Watching her eat just hurts me
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
