WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
