didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
