Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
