You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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