But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
