That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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