I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
