Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
