My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
