in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
