Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
