its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
How external is "for external use only"?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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