I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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