Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize
