Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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