pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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