yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
