So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
