i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
