he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
