Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
