3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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