Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Randomize
