Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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