Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
