The brown eye won't let me do that either.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
