My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Randomize
