Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
